it’s a little lonely here without you

what to say?
a whole other life started
while you were away —
while I was away.

you’ve been with me this whole time,
waiting for me to see
holding my dreams in your eyes,
sparkling diamonds —
and my heart is made of you.

what can i say but hello,
my name is yours,
and you’ve dearly been missed,
which is to say I’ve been lonely without your voice,
even though I’ve never heard you speak.

But you softly graze my dreams
passing birds messages with strings–
hoping I had not forgotten how to fly.

if you’re not my family,
then I don’t know who is.
can’t be found in the mainstream,
admitting all the truths are lies.
they tend to silence the whistles.
locking the door to life with a prescription.
Warm and cozy in your Snuggie infinitely reloading peoples lives
or whatever it is you like.
and by you
I mean me.

we can:
have anything.
do anything.
go anywhere.
and the only excuses are
or mental.

since you’ve been gone
i’ve been sleeping with the TV on,
and it fills me up with sadness,
and makes me forget that you exist.

in the background I am screaming to let it go
but demons rage up inside.
my tongue is scorched and branded,
confused but jaded.

Spicy words lash out frustration.

Insults with observations.

As if all that wasn’t enough —
here you are
patiently waiting.
dreaming our dream,
holding the light of the world in your mind
long enough for me to come crawling backwards.

I have been gone for so long.

What can I show
but salty liquid.
They call this loneliness,
even though I haven’t been alone.

~by Anewwe

for the indigo

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